I've Worked My Butt On!

Another true story by Angie Ruark (who is still living it)
©2009 by Angie Ruark

How we look at situations we are in often determines our outlook on life. Sometimes a different perspective can make all the difference.

In the last three years, I have gained fifteen pounds. But I keep referring to the fact that “I’m fifteen pounds heavier than I normally weigh.” You would think that I would figure out that if I have weighed this much for three years in a row, that THAT is my normal weight. But no. I refuse to give in. It makes me feel better to say that I’m normally fifteen pounds lighter than I am. So, to what do I credit these extra pounds? I work my butt on. That’s right. I don’t work it off anymore. I work it ON. How do I do that you ask? It’s easy: I sit on it. At the computer, at my desk, or driving in my car, I sit. I have worked my butt on so much that I have had to buy the next size up in pants. This is not my favorite outcome of course, but I guess I don’t mind it too much because I am not giving up my chocolate! So here I am again, sitting.
Typing on the computer is now my mode of exercise. I suppose I could try butt-tucks in my chair but that might look weird. My fingers are in great shape, and I am pretty fast now at typing in my email account, but the rest of me, well….! Here’s the thing: I work all day and then I go home. And at the end of a very long workday, the LAST thing I want to do is work some more, even if it is at a gym.
When I get home, I like to plop on the couch. I don’t “gracefully lower myself into a nice sitting posture,” I plop. If anything is near where I land, it flies off the couch and onto the floor where I MIGHT pick it up later (but don’t count on it.) “Will someone bring my bon-bons please?!” So I sit there. Then I lie there. Well, what do you expect? I’m tired! I work hard all day and all week! The saying used to be, “Man, I worked my butt off today!” But it’s not the saying anymore! I declare it officially changed to: “Wow! I have worked my butt on today!” That makes me feel so much better about those extra fifteen pounds I’ve gained (not my normal weight though don’t forget!) If I think about it that way, those extra fifteen pounds (that pretty much landed in the same posterior area) are more like a badge of honor, something to be proud of because of all my hard work!
So, I’m just not going to worry about it! Maybe I should go ahead and have hot fudge sundaes (how about the hot fudge right out of the jar, hmmm?), or pizza or burgers, fries, sodas, or cheesecake! Yes!! All of it guilt free because I am working my butt on this week! I work hard and I deserve it! Out with the “inspiration pants” I bought to “help me lose weight.” They’re outta here! I declare that I will wear my new and improved derriere with pride! It’s a testament to my hard work ethic, my dedication to driving my kids all over creation, and my prolific computer skills (especially online shopping! – I am SO good at that!)
Remember, the next time you look in the mirror and find that you’ve earned a badge of honor, be glad! You’ve worked so hard, you’ve worked your butt on!